Introducing new habits from a place of connection
Family sitting down at the table with tablets and mobile phones.
Things have slipped. The house is far too quiet and you know it’s not because the kids are sleeping.
In fact, you don’t even have to try and guess what your kids are up to.
You know.
It was like that yesterday after homeschool, and the day before that, and the day before that and now you’ve had enough.
Too much screentime.
You want to introduce new habits without the hassle, the arguments and moaning tweens. What do you do?
Cynthia Crossley, CEO of Habyts has been talking to Debi John and looking into this issue for years. In the latest episode of the Play Healing Parent Podcast, they both discuss their passion to equip families with the tools for change in this fast-paced digital world and both agree that maintaining connection is key.
“You could have the perfect family structure in your head, but none of it will work if you haven’t got that connection,” explains Cynthia.
The bond you’re creating through playful and relaxed moments will help the child to install that new habit as they feel safe within the new structures. However, she went on to explain that it’s ok to fail and if things don’t work one way then collaborate and try it another way.
Debi often talks to her clients about having peaceful, flexible connections and this approach widely encourages deeper connection and collaboration within the family system.
They go on to discuss adopting a playful approach instead of coercing the children, offering them playful or fun alternatives rather than getting them off screens to help them do chores or go straight to bed. Putting in new structures/routines and rhythms requires energy and clarity but the Habyts PACE Approach helps parents to confidently build habits with 4 clear steps:
Prepare Purposely– get clear on what success looks like for you and your family
Automate Quickly – see how to address specific concerns in a consistent way
Celebrate Smarter – make habits stick by reviewing progress and celebrating success
Experiment Together – be ready to handle any setbacks (it’s actually a GOOD thing)
Having tools to help us automate and address specific concerns enables parents to be able to be more present. “Children need our presence over everything else and we must pause and look at the kind of family environment we want to create.”
Cynthia went on to explain how “Celebrating the small wins is an essential part of habit-forming.”
Incorporate Play into your rituals and over celebrate the wins.
Let’s use PLAY and CONNECTION as the MOTIVATION for change.
To listen to the full podcast, go to: https://link.chtbl.com/W7ETgAYx